A couple months ago, I signed up for a class that scared me.
Five days of live Zoom meetings, 2.5 hours each. Not just listening, but interactive exercises, practicing communications skills with strangers.
Making mistakes in front of them, and letting them see -not just my mistakes, but my faults. My lack.
One reason I have stayed in keeping my own business, though, is that it pushes me to grow.
So here was a growing experience.
And you know what?
I loved it.
Vinh* has a unique combination of his own story, a flat-out commitment to help others get better at communicating, a culture of kindness, his training as a magician, and a commitment to mastery for himself. Each element contributes to the training and the skills, mindset, and atmosphere he creates.
First, we learned about the various parts of our speaking voice.
What those parts are, and what different ways of using those parts means.
It was like holding up a mirror for me. And like opening up a new world.
I knew I usually speak quietly, but I didn't know what it meant, what it communicates ABOUT me to do so.
There are five parts of your voice, and each one contributes to how we show up.
From there, we learned how to combine those parts, and how different combinations help us show up as different versions of ourselves.
Again, mind-blowing.
No wonder I seem to always have the same role - because I always show up as that version of me.
Other versions can be useful in various situations, so I can learn different habits and different ways of using my voice to show up differently.
From there, we moved to storytelling. How these different versions of ourselves can tell various types of stories to have more impact.
No, not manipulation, although it can be used that way. But more effective sharing of ourselves so that other people can receive what we say in a way that's meaningful.
If I'm showing up with the various parts of my voice communicating an attitude that's in conflict to the story I am trying to tell, it's like trying to hear me talk over a loud fan.
The WAY I am speaking gets in the way of the message I want to get across.
Have you ever experienced that?
I have. I've tried to listen to speakers where I'm interested in their message, but I can--NOT listen to their voice or their manner of speaking!
What Vinh teaches is how to use your voice to complement - and even enhance - your message.
From storytelling, we moved to body language, posture, and other ways to clarify and enhance your message.
And finally, we learned about active listening.
During the listening section, Vinh told a story that has inspired me over and over since then.
He said that after he had been teaching communication skills for several years, someone - a high-up someone in one of his corporate trainings - asked him when he would get to the part about listening in his training. Vinh responded that his trainings were about communicating to others, not about listening.
He said he went away and felt like an absolute idiot. And then he started researching listening skills, learning for himself so he could add them to his trainings.
For myself, I've been in this place of being scared to teach what I know in case it is incomplete, in case someone else knows more than I do (*news flash to my brain, this is always the case*) and sees how dumb I am for not knowing xyz that I should know.
It's helped me see that I will never know enough to not look like an idiot to someone. I will never know enough to not need to learn more.
But I know enough NOW - to help at least one person. And it's ok to share what I know at this point in time in order to do that.
Over and over through the course, Vinh talks about mastery. About learning ONE step at a time, one piece at a time - practicing that, mastering it, then moving to the next step. Knowing you'll never "get there" and know it all - but you'll focus on one element, practice, master that one piece, and keep going.
It made me realize that mastery is one of my brand values - for my business and personally for myself.
I've always been uncomfortable with the word expert - and now I know why.
Because I'm pursuing mastery.
I'll always be learning, practicing, growing. My usual approach is to fix everything so it is right, and then just do it right from then on.
But that doesn't work. You spend so much time trying to fix it all that you don't DO.
So I'm leaning in to practicing one thing at a time. Leaving the other things that need work for the next round of the cycle, and just getting better at one thing.
And moving to the next.
(*Vinh Giang: here's his website - https://www.vinhgiang.com)
